Party Planning Guide

100 Party Themes
First Birthday
Favorite Birthday
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Invitations
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Planning Guide
Checklist
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Helpful Hints
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Use the step-by-step Planning Guide below to make planning your child's birthday party fun & easy! Use our Planning Checklist to keep on schedule. Visit Helpful Hints for 10 great tips for a successful party.

When to Start?
Try to start planning 6 weeks prior to the party. This much time isn't absolutely necessary, but it will enable you to pull the party together at a relaxed pace. Plus, it allows you to purchase party supplies as part of your regular shopping trips, instead of having to run all over town at the last minute.

The biggest risk with waiting until the last minute is that some of your child's friends may not be able to attend due to other commitments. I know one family who sent the invitations out a few days before the party and didn't request RSVPs. Only one child showed up for the party, so they put the ice cream cake back in the freezer and rescheduled the party for a month later.

Even if you like to have plenty of time, there are times when you won't have control of this and will need to pull a party together in just a couple days. Like when your child's soccer team decides one week before the last game to have an end-of-season party. Or when your child's teacher doesn't get enough volunteers to help with a school party and asks you to pick up the slack. Check out our Easy Party tips for ideas on how to pull off a fun party without much time or effort.

Choosing a Theme
A good party theme unifies the party and provides the framework from which the rest of the planning process flows. Decisions about what kind of invitations, activities, decorations, and food become much clearer once the theme is selected.

Use our Choosing a Theme questionnaire and our Themes page to help you choose a theme that suits your child's interests and personality. Also visit our Favorite Birthday Parties page and Ages & Stages to help you select a fun theme that's right for your child's age.

When?
The biggest factor in selecting a party date and time is determining when the largest number of your child's good friends can attend. It's pretty difficult, but not impossible, to have weekday parties during the school year due to after school activities, homework, and busy parents' work schedules.

Mid-day Saturday and Sunday parties are usually a good bet. A Saturday party gives you Sunday to relax and recover! However, Sunday afternoon parties sometimes work better because they don't usually conflict with sports activities and you have all day Saturday to prepare. Sunday parties are best held at noon or later to reduce conflicts with church activities.

When planning a party check the proposed date and time with "key" friends before committing to the party time (before preparing the invitations or making any reservations). It's better to select another date than to have your child be disappointed because his best friend can't attend.

Many younger children seem to be more pleasant in the morning and get fussier in the afternoon/evening, so a morning party may be good for young children. Just make sure to end the party well before the pre-nap-time-fussies begin

When selecting a party time, another thing to consider is what level of refreshments you want to provide. If you don't want to provide a full meal, then you really need to start the party at least an hour after standard meal times and end the party an hour before standard meal times. Basically, if you have a party anytime between 11 am-1 pm or 4-6 pm, you need to provide a meal. Outside these times you can provide snacks.

It's nice to have some kind of celebration on the child's actual birthday. This can be a simple family celebration with cake after dinner followed by the opening of family presents. If your child's birthday is during the school year, ask the teacher if it's OK to bring special treats to school for the class on your child's birthday or the next school day if your child's birthday falls on the weekend.

Plan the birthday celebration with your child's friend for the weekend closest to your child's birthday, unless there is some big conflict. However, some families do move their child's birthday celebration by several weeks to avoid busy holiday times, such as Christmas. Some families even wait until Fall to celebrate their child's summer birthdays, so new classmates can be included in the celebration.

Where?
My favorite party locations are at home and local parks. I'm fortunate to live in the back house on a flag lot, so my house is off the street and I have a long driveway that is great for setting up games, craft tables, etc.

Some advantages to having a party at home include having plenty of time to set-up (you can start the day before), having all your supplies close at hand, and having the party in an environment your child is comfortable in, which is especially important for younger children.

Some disadvantages to having a party at home include having to clean your house twice (before and after the party), possible damage to your house (purple grape juice on white carpet), space limitations (unless you have a big house and big yard), and lack of built-in entertainment (unless you have a big play structure or swimming pool).

Nearby parks are nice because they're usually free or low cost (if you decide to reserve an area) and there's usually a play structure to entertain the kids and some open space for organized games. However, I've experienced two downsides to park locations. One is that it's a pain to haul all the party supplies to the park and the other is that the park can be crowded and you may have trouble finding a space for your party.

One year I had my son's party at a park that did not allow space to be reserved. I checked out the park on a weekday and picked out a couple locations where I wanted to have the party. When I arrived at the park to set-up on Saturday morning, almost every available area and table was already claimed by people for other parties. Fortunately, I found a fine space near the back of the park, but if I'd arrived much later it would have been gone, too. The lesson here is that if you have a party at a park, either reserve a space or send someone early to lay claim to the spot you want.

If you're having an outdoor party, always have a back-up plan in case of poor weather. Try to reserve or stakeout a picnic area with a shelter. When you accept RSVPs be sure to get the guests' phone numbers in case you need to call them with a last minute location change. I think it's too difficult and disappointing to reschedule a party at the last minute, so plan on having the party unless it just won't work.

When deciding where to have a party, consider potential safety issues. Put yourself in baby protection mode and think about ways to make the environment safer. Take special precautions if the party environment includes: stairs, a balcony, high windows, glass doors, chemicals, a pool, or busy streets. Other children can be unpredictable in a new environment, particularly with the excitement of a party. Although your child may know not to lean against a 2nd story window, his/her guests may not.

How Long?
Some people advocate short parties (1-2 hours) to make things easier for the parents and reduce the likelihood that the children will get bored or misbehave.

Short parties are fine for some occasions. An end-of-Baseball season party may only be an hour including lunch. However, the party will probably be right after a game, so the kids already had their activity (the baseball game) and socializing time (while waiting for their turns up to bat). All that really needed to be added was refreshments (pizza delivered to the park and salad, drinks, and cake brought by the parents) and the presentation of trophies and goodie bags.

School parties tend to be very short, sometimes only 30 minutes! However, when you're hosting a party for a holiday, birthday or other occasion, you'll probably want and need more than an hour. Short parties are fine for young children (3 or under), but I find that even two hour parties are too rushed for older children's parties.

By the time you allow time for the guests to straggle in (20 minutes), do some art projects (20-30 minutes), play games (30 minutes or more), have refreshments (20 minutes), open presents (15-20 minutes), and allow time for free play and socializing (20 minutes) you'll exceed 2 hours unless you're going to run the party like a drill sergeant. Two 1/2 to 3 hours is ideal. Not too rushed with some free time at the end, but not so long that we run out of things to do or the guests become unruly.

Who & How Many?
In some cases, the guest list is determined by the occasion... the entire class is invited to a school party and the entire team is invited to a sports party. For parties where you and your child determine the guest list start with the "must invites"... your child's best friends. If you want to invite additional children add the friends your child sometimes plays with.

You do not necessarily need to invite everyone who has invited your child to their party (payback invitations). Kids' friendships can change pretty quickly and someone who was your child's friend last year may not be an important guest for your child anymore. The present you gave to the child is adequate "payback" for the party your child attended, so you do not necessarily owe the child a party invitation.

It's generally a good idea to invite a few more kids than you'd ideally like to attend, because a couple children will have conflicts (out of town, music recital, etc.) or be sick the day of the party. This is particularly important if you're planning a small party. If you want to have 4 children at the party, you probably need to invite 6 or you risk having a party that is too small (a play date, instead of a party). If you're inviting 20 kids then it's less important to invite extras, because you'll probably end up with enough children to make it feel like a party.

In some cases when you invite a child, you may also be implicitly inviting their parents and siblings. Some parents are perfectly happy to drop their child off at a party, but others want to stay. It's not easy to control this, but you do need to consider it when planning for the party because it determines how many favors and how much food you'll need.

Generally, parents of children 3 or under will plan on staying and you'll be glad they did (you may even want to request it). Parents of older children will usually make the decision to stay or leave once they get to the party and check out the environment, the level of supervision, and how their child is fitting in.

The upside to parents staying is that they'll usually help or at least not get in the way (make it a point to give any parent who stays a job to keep him/her busy!). The downside to siblings staying is that it can change the dynamics of the party when the siblings are more than a few years younger or older than the party guests. Younger kids slow things down and can get in the way. Older kids win all the games and dominate the younger children. If you really don't want extra guests (parents or siblings) at the party, you'll need to find a tactful way to mention this when you send the invitation or accept the RSVPs.

What to Do?
Use the Planning Checklist to help you identify party planning and preparation tasks and schedule. The key things that need to be done, preferably at least 2-3 weeks before the party, are setting the date & time and the party location.

Then get the invitations out at least one week and preferably two weeks prior to the party. Almost everything else can wait until the last minute, if it really needs to.

What Activities?
The key components of most parties are Activities & Games and Food. Children can inhale food in a matter of minutes so don't plan much time for refreshments. A typical two hour party agenda might look like this:

15-20 minutes - greet arrivals, free play and unstructured activities (art table, dart game, etc.)
30-45 minutes - organized games and activities
15-20 minutes - refreshments
20-30 minutes - additional organized games and activities (include time here for present opening if it's a party where the child receives gifts)
15-20 minutes - free play and unstructured activities

A three hour party agenda would allow more time for games & activities, free play, or an entertainer.

Some people avoid having any unplanned time at the party for fear the guest will get bored or unruly. I usually plan on about 15-20 minutes of free time at both the beginning and the end of the party. I've never had any problems with this approach and find that this is often when the kids interact with each other the most.

There seems to be some debate on whether or not to have a child open presents at the party. Some people are concerned that it seems too materialistic or that the birthday child may not show enthusiasm for each gift and a guest's feelings might get hurt. However, many guests want to see their presents opened and it's a logical closing activity for the party.If the party is running way behind schedule, present opening is one of the activities you can skip.

Getting Help
Potential helpers include family, friends, neighbors, parents of guests, and paid professionals (entertainers, caterers, etc.). Fortunately, most of us know someone who will do just about anything you need and do it well. Mom's, sisters, and aunts often fall into this category and can help with the food prep, arts & crafts, and clean-up. Then there are the people who are only willing or able to do a few specific tasks. For example, the uncle who is a photography buff and can be trusted to get great pictures and not drop the video camera in the swimming pool.

Compare your list of things that need to be done with your list of people who are willing and able to help looking for some obvious matches. An artistic relative may be a good candidate to do face painting. A friend with a mini-van can fetch the balloons. A neighbor who loves to bake can make the cake or cookies.

After you've made all the obvious matches on my list, look for additional tasks that just about anyone can do. This includes things like making a list of who gives what gift at a birthday party, so your child can write meaningful thank you notes.

Don't forget to give the party child some responsibilities. She will appreciate the party more if she puts some effort into it. However, these responsibilities should be limited to preparation activities and not things that have to be done during the party, because she should just be able to have a good time.

You'll have to gauge whether your other children can be good helpers. Some parents who expect siblings to help a lot, some who just include siblings as "guests" at the party, and others get the siblings out of the way by sending them to a friends house to play.

Put any parents who stay at the party to work. They'd rather have something to do than just stand there. Ask parents to help runn some of the games and activities and help serve refreshments.

Supplies
Keep some staples on hand that you can use year after year, such as carnival type games (dart board, bean bag toss), muffin pans (cupcakes) and serving trays. Then borrow tables, chairs, ice chests and other things from friends. Use our Shopping List to help you determine what items you need and where to get them.

If you end up with leftovers party supplies (favor bags, decorations, plates & napkins), pack them up into a box and give them to a local women's' shelter. Their children have special occasions, too!

How Much?
A good rule of thumb is $10-$20 per child. However, costs can vary widely depending on what type of party you have. If you have to pay to use a location, hire an entertainer, serve a full meal, and give elaborate prizes and favor bags, the costs can really add up

However, it's possible to have a party for as little as $5 per child. Just focus on the basics - cake, ice-cream and a few low cost favors and decorations. If you're on a tight budget, check out our Inexpensive Party tips for ideas on how to have a great party on a shoestring budget.